What is EQ and why does this matter. Well, if you can’t get your EQ in check, selling will always be more challenging than is has to be.
EQ, or Emotional Intelligence, is a highly underrated topic and commonly neglected in sales training classes. EQ is a strong predictor of performance in just about anything from sports, work, relationships, parenting and the list goes on. EQ is how we manage our emotions, navigate social complexities and make decisions that create positive results. I recently read an article in a Forbes magazine stating that EQ is the other form of smart that they don’t teach you in school. It comes from experiences and maturity.
Sales success demands a High EQ
Of all professions, sales is the most demanding as far as maintaining the right mental attitude. Why? We get rejected a lot. Unlike many professions, we are in the business of seeking prospects. The more noes, the closer we get to a yes! Common situations we face: people are too busy, they may not be as excited to see or hear from us, they do not see a need, or they do not see the benefit/value. When this process is repeated a number of times a day, the ego runs the risk of being bruised, and negativity follows. If your mental game isn’t ready, disappointment, frustration and fear will take over.
We cannot live in a bubble where these feelings don’t exist, but we can control how these feelings affect us. Will we let them paralyze us? Or will we take control by demanding a positive attitude. John Maxwell states “If there is HOPE in the future, there is POWER in the present” Amen!
How can we improve our EQ?
Mental Health Exam
First things first, get your mental health in check. Just like exercising and eating good for physical health, we need to exercise mental health. What are you allowing into your mind?
What do you listen to, read in books or on social media, and watch on television? Spend this week making a list of what is influencing you i.e. people at work, friends, family, radio, television shows, books etc. Once you have that list, determine if it has a positive or negative affect on your attitude. Start eliminating the negativity. If the news is depressing, stop watching it. If your friends gossip, stop hanging out with them. If your lunch group complains about their job, hang out with a different group.
Let It Go
Secondly, begin the process of letting go of what others have done to you. This is big. We hold onto self limiting beliefs about ourselves that cause low self esteem and low self confidence, because of bad experiences that we have been through. The negative things we say about ourselves are not true! We all have people or situations that we blame for the way we are or why we can’t do what we want to do. It is easy to blame others for our misery instead of taking control of our life.
I recently read in Zig Ziglar’s book “Ziglar on Selling” People spend their time looking back in anger and forward in fear. The anger of what happened in the past creates fear of what is going to happen in the future. This causes people to become paralyzed in the present, preventing them from reaching their potential. WOW! WOW! I don’t know about you but that hit home for me.
A technique that I learned from Mr. Ziglar (Can you tell I respect his teachings?) in trying to remove this belief is the following:
- Go ahead and blame them. Let it all out! It’s all their fault.
- Now forgive them. You don’t have to forget, but it is imperative that you learn to forgive.
- Now accept responsibility for your life and move on. Now you have no one else to blame for not getting after it and taking control of your life.
I know that sounds simple but it takes discipline. I know because I’ve spent a lot of time blaming others for my disappointments.
Be Empathetic
Finally, we interact and connect with people all day, everyday. If we can stop focusing all the energy on ourselves and focus our energy on helping others with empathy, we have a better chance of having a positive attitude. Discern others feelings, their emotions, and utilize that understanding to relate to them more effectively. I admit, compassion and patience are not my natural virtues, I have to work very hard to be empathetic and patient. Luckily I became a mom to my sweet daughter Averie and she teaches me everyday to be a better person.
Let’s summarize the key points about improving EQ. What can you start doing today?
- Make the commitment to have a positive attitude and start taking action today.
- Take inventory of everything that is coming into your mind, including the people in your life. Are they positive or negative? Get the right people in and graciously remove the others.
- Let go of the pain that is paralyzing you.
- Focus your energy on helping others with an empathetic heart.
My hope is this message empowered you today. I wish you continued growth on your journey to success, confidence, and joy.
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Keep Blooming!
Val
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